Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
