She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
