I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
