Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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