You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
