just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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