They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
