im drinking this country out of the recession.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
