Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we're making bets on your personal life
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
