its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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