He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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