It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
