Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
