I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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