i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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