I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
