You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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