I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
