it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
