It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
