Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
there is glitter all over my balls
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
