i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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