shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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