I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
