don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize