It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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