so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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