I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize