Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
