im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
farters have to be the big spoon...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
