No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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