I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
