What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
