I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
