relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
