Its about making memories worth repressing
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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