We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
