my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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