watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just pee around me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
