sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
