just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
