Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
