yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
