super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
