hotel room ftw
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
