I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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