I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
