There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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