Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
