Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
