I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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