Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize