I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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