SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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