its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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