I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize