you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I just shit out all my problems.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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