drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
