It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
