Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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