Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
