He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
