Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
