he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
