If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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