All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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